Friday, March 31, 2006


It's been a long time since I visited the StatCounter site (mostly because I was getting depressed at the amount of people not visiting my site!) Actually, that's not true, I don't stay up at nights worrying about how many 'hits' I get on this here blog (but if you do visit me, thank you so much, you guys (girls?) make my life worth living and I could not move on with my life without you, the fan(s?) of this site). Anyway, I decided to visit StatCounter and see what been going on with TNTP.

Here you go...

Recent Keyword Activity:
"ants in apartment bathroom"
"dream electirical socket shock" Ahem. Okay.
"try not to panic" Well, naturally...
"william hurt wife beater" I'm baffled...
"urine body splash" Heehee...

Recent Came From Activity
I'll just list the few I find interesting:
I have had quite a few coming from Boy's Briefs for some reason. Maybe Chris knows why his site seems to be sending people my way? So, if you are reading, Chris, let me know.
Okay, I know now why I have so many "came from activity" from Boy's Briefs - Chris has linked me! How cool is that? Of course being linked to someone's site makes feel like I need to update my blog more and be, I don't know, funny or something.
I wonder who else has linked me to their site.

Oooh, new idea. If you have linked my to your site, let me know so I can feel important and put off slitting my wrists for a couple of days. Oh, I'm just kidding, I am not going to slit my wrists. I much prefer taking pills. Stop, I'm kidding. Rope. Definitly rope. Yeah, rope should do the trick.

And from my new favoritest name for a blog:
Ghey Tales From The Chocolate Starfish. I recommend visiting Mason and say hi. Like this: "Hi, Mason!" See wasn't that easy?

I have the usual from Chad. Everyone should go to Chad's blog right now and see some good photos of Chad's hood, btw. Chad really does have a good eye for the photography thingy. Chad will be in Phoenix a a couple of days hanging with Darin, Atari Age, Jimmi, and Chris(not Chris of boy's briefs fame). Now, to be honest, I have never read any of these blogs, so I don't know a thing about them. For all I know they might all be suicidal maniacs with plans to abduct poor, dear Chad and have their way with him and then dump his lifeless, but well used body, on the side of some dirt road. You know, or not. Have fun, Chad.


Drive By Review: Last Night's Supernatural

Well, it wasn't running through a scary forest with his shirt off, but walking out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist is just as yummy! Thank you Jared Padelecki, thank you. I can die a happy man now...sigh...I love this show!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


That's the sound heard after my previous rant about Bush. Oh, well. On to the usual nothingness...

It seems one the best shows ever produced in the world, nay, the universe, is officially dead meat. Sad, so sad. Happily we have the ability to watch the show on DVD over and over and over again until we realize we need to get a life fast and go out to a bar and get drunk, meet a guy, take him home, wake up the next day full of regret. Actually, the only regret you will have is that you will not remember the guy's name, where you met, and how in god's name did you got back to your apartment? Other than that you will have had a grand evening. Except for the pounding "god I wish the room would stop spinning or I'm gonna die" hangover. Or, you know, so I've heard. From friends. Really. What?

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Bush And The Culture Of Death

I had another interesting dream; not about vacuums, alas. This dream was disturbing and very telling. I dreamed that someone, maybe me, was trying to give President Bush some sort of vacine shot and he would not let it happen. He kept running around the White House trying to avoid the shot.

Now I know where this dream came from and it disturbs me to to no end. You see, in the March 13th issue of The New Yorker, Michael Specter wrote an articale titled Political Science -The Bush Administration's war on the laboratory. Basically this article illustrates how the Bush adiminstration ignores hard science if the science does not fit with their ideology - no news there. What is disturbing is how the Bushies have "been relentless in its opposition to any drug, vaccine, or initiative that could be interpreted as lessening the risks associated with premarital sex." Simply put, the Bushies have made concerted efforts to block the developement and or approval of vaccines for HPV (human papillomavirus)and HIV. All because if these were to be available, this would encourage sexual behavior, and that is a no no in the Bushie's world. Bush would rather a women get cervical cancer or someone contract HIV than have a way of preventing these. Many religious conservatives are "unapologetic; not only do they believe that mass use of an HPV vaccine or the availabilty of emergency contraception will encourage adolescents to engage in unaccepatable seual behavior; some have even stated that they would feel similarly about an HIV vaccine."

I'll leave with this final quote from Reginald Finger when asked about the use of a possible HIV vaccine:

'"We would have to look at that closely. With any vaccine for HIV, disinhibition"-a medical term for the absence of fear-"would certainly be a factor, and it is somthing we will have to pay attention to with a great deal of care."'

Reginald Finger sits on the Centers for Disease Control's Immunization Committee, which makes recommendations on the use of vaccines.

All quotes from The New Yorker, March 13, 2006

Friday, March 17, 2006

Dream A Little Dream

I am not obsessed! I have no control over what my subconscious mind wants to traipse through while my conscious mind takes a break.

I'll explain.

Last night I had a very relaxing, deep sleep and a very nice dream. Now many of you may be familiar with my feelings about vacuuming. Well, it would seem my feelings for vacuuming is rooted much deeper than I had previously thought, or thought possible, to be honest. Last night I had a dream about this brand of vacuum. From what I can recall from the dream, I was not only fascinated by the sucking power of this machine, but I was also having fun with the "roller ball" functionality (simply writing about this is getting all worked up).

Alas, the feelings of exhilaration did not last. When I woke up, I felt a very real sense of disappointment when I opened my closet and saw my own pathetic sorry-excuse-for-a-vacuum (I can't even find my brand on the internet, it is such a sad excuse for a vacuum!). The exhilaration of my dream was, therefore, quickly forgotten with the realization that I am at the low rung on vacuuming hierarchy. I feel so inadequate. So, so...empty now. I will never be able to look anyone in the eyes knowing my vacuum is sub-standard. Excuse me...I need a moment to myself.

Don't look at my vacuum, It's hideous!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

There's A New Guy In Town

Kelly from Texas has just moved here to start a new life in San Francisco. Go over and read his first post from The City to be reminded how lucky those of us are that live here. Chad has some pics of Kelly's welcome party at Badlands. In honor of Kelly's arrival, I have added his link to the right------>

Welcome to The City, Kelly!

And don't beleive anything Chad Fox says about me.

Overheard in San Francisco

While Bush and his cronies continue to sink the U.S. into the moral toilet, I overheard this on the way to work this morning:

"Well, atleast I know I have a better gag reflex than my mom."

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Drive By Review: The Life Pursuit by Belle And Sebastian

Belle and Sebatian kept seeping into my life through the news or from friends so I decided to go out and buy one of their CDs.

Here you go:

If the Brady Kids were a bit edgier (but not much), they would be Belle and Sebastian.

Friday, March 10, 2006

The Economics Of The Brady Bunch

The other day I was watching The Brady Bunch (the episode where Jan wanted everyone to pretend she was an only child), and I started wondering how much money Mr. Brady had to make to be able to support a wife, a housekeeper, and 6 kids. It is clear he must have made quite a bit of dough to be able to afford all those 'happening' fashions his kids wore along with the trips to Hawaii, and the grand canyon. So, in 1970's money, how much do you think Mr. Brady had to make to support his brood of freeloaders?

As an aside, did any of the Brady kids have any friends? I mean, in the episode I watched, the kids were practicing potato bag races. Potato bag racing? Who practices potato bag racing? No wonder they didn't have any friends.


Greg or one of the other Brady boys (GOOOTOBB)"Hey, Michael, want to go practice potato bag racing?"

Me: "Potato bag racing?"

GOOOTOBB: "Yeah, it's swell"

Me: "Um, no, that's okay"

GOOOTOBB: "Really? Gosh the luck, I was hoping to get some practice in before dinner."

Me: "It's 4:30, what time do you eat dinner?"

GOOOTOBB: "At 5 o'clock and then it's off to bed at 7!"

Me: "Really? In bed by 7"

GOOOTOBB: "Oh, yeah, that's when Dad goes to the bathhouse to get his rocks off!"

end scene

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

MEME from Mikey

This MEME is courtesy of Mikey

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
The America Heritage Dictionary. "use alliteration. 2. To form or arrange with..."

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The News Hour with Jim Leher

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
8:05 pm

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
8:07 pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Television. Some really bad CBS comedy.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
4:30 pm. Returning a DVD (see # 15)

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Oh, dear... The Great Cock Hunt

9. What are you wearing?
A red "Aztec Pride" longsleeve T and gray sweats.

10. Did you dream last night?
I did, but I don't remember the dream. I only remember dreams that have some sort of meaning.

11. When did you last laugh?
This afternoon in a meeting at work.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A reproduction of "California Raisin Days" poster (miniaturized) and a framed black and white Howard Roffman photo.

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Not really...Nope, can't think of anything

14. What do you think of this quiz?
It's giving me something to do.

15. What is the last film you saw?
All The Presidents Men

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A house in San Francisco, I suppose. I wouldn't buy my parents house, but I would pay it off for them.

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
When I was a kid, I thought neck gear (not head gear) looked cool on kids that had braces.

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would stop people from using religion as an excuse to hate. Actually, I would stop all the hate.

19. Do you like to dance?
I've never really danced, I've only bounced up and down at a club. I wouldn't call it dancing.

20. George Bush:

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
London or Nichol

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
I'm not like that

25. 4 people who must also do this meme in THEIR journal:
I will not force anyone to this.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

X3 - They're Trying To Cure Us

Now this is why we go to the movies.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Drive By Review: The Oscars

Hollywood showed there "liberal" credentials by giving the best actor to an actor portraying a stereotypical gay man. Big surprise. Hollywood likes to award the parts that fit the comfortable stereotype for gay men: William Hurt? Effeminate cross-dressing gay political prisoner. Tom Hanks? Courageous dying of AIDS gay man. Phillip Seymour Hoffman? Effete, narcissistic gay writer, Truman Capote. Brave, very brave.

I had to smile, when Clooney basically gave the finger to middle America. Middle America has been giving the finger to us (the gays) for so long, they deserve to be given the finger back.

Any show that lets Jack Nicholson talk is a winner in my book. The man is just sooo cool. And you could tell he was surprised Crash won best pic, I like to think he was rooting for Brokeback!

Larry McMurty wore jeans. To the Oscars! That Rocks!!

Reese had her "you like me, you really like me" moment. Still, nice speech from someone that seems to be genuingly surprised by where she is and her success. And, man, Ryan Phillipe has got to be the most beautiful man in Hollywood. Those two must have some beautiful kids!

I wonder if the all the pre-show interviewers go home and drink heavily after having to fawn over all these actors. Do you think these people really care that much about what someone is wearing or that what they do is soooo important? Oh well, I guess that's entertainment.

Favorite moment? Happened before the Oscars even began. An interviewer from Access Hollywood asked the president of the Motion Picture Association a question:

Interviewer: "What can we expect tonight?"

President of MPAA: "Lot's of fun and excitement."

Interview: "That's great. Back to you on the red carpet"

And that was it. One answer and it was time to cut away. I just had to laugh.

Well, until next year when Hollywood congratulates itself again.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

My Completely Uniformed Oscar Picks

I guess the Oscar thing is going to be some sort of annual event, who knew? Because the powers that be (thanks, Angel), have deemed this little Oscar party will be hanging around a bit, I figure I’ll just make my Completely Uniformed Oscar Picks an annual event, too. Here we go:

Best Picture.

As you might have suspected, I have only seen one of the films nominated this year, but many of my friends have seen all the movies, so I feel qualified (as if!) to make my picks.

Let’s see…

Crash As far as I can tell this isn’t about the album by The Dave Matthews Band, but about some rather cranky people in LA. I know that Ryan Phillippe is in it and he was pretty good in his wife beater in I Know What You Did Last Summer, so if he takes his shirt off in the movie, I would be willing to give best picture to Crash. Does anyone know if Ryan acts shirtless in Crash movie?

There’s also the Steven Spielberg non-alien movie, Munich (I always want to call it Munch, oddly enough). Because I can’t help but call it Munch, I really can’t give this film best picture. Spielberg should have named it something less confusing.

I know there’s that movie about the Studio 54 guy. You know the one with the lisp? I guess he wrote some cold book about blood. I don’t know, sounds so…cold and bloody to me. The thought of sitting through an entire film listening to that annoying voice would drive me crazy, anyway. Sitting through this movie would be like having to listen to Tom Amiano (google his name) drone on about the plight of some [insert minority]., so I really can’t give Best Picture the lispy movie.

Let’s see, Good Night and Good Luck is in black and white. Hmm. A black and white movie is so 1940’s. Hellooo, George Clooney, everyone has been making movies in color for like 60 years! Get with the program. I can’t get behind a movie that isn’t up on all the latest technological breakthroughs.

Now Brokeback Mountain I saw. Not a bad movie. It was in color (a big plus in my book), it had shots of wide-open spaces (have you noticed how movies with shots of wide-open spaces seem to win? I give you Lawrence of Arabia and that piece of crap, The English Patient), and, um, cowboys (no Indians, though), that Dawson Creeks chick…and trailers and a few fireworks for good measure. Yeah, it was good. Some have said it is kind of slow, but I think they are missing the point. The movie has to be slow because most people in this country are slow themselves. Oooh, zinger!

And the Oscar should go to:

I’ll have to give it to Brokeback Mountain because, as a gay, I am duty bound to honor yet another film about doomed gays.

Best Actor:

Philip Seymour Hoffman is nominated for the lispy movie, and you know how I feel about movie, so I won’t bore you with the reasons why I don’t want him to win. Let’s just call it the Tom Amiano Effect.

Terrence Howard is nominted for Hustle and Flow. I read somewhere this film was produced my MTV Films. MTV is making movies? I just cannot get behind that idea. I just know this movie has a bunch of quick edits and music like those videos that channel shows. Sounds like Terrence was probably in some two hour long music video. Does not sound good to me.

There’s Joaquin Phoenix for playing Johnny Cash. You know, Joaquin always has made me nervous what with is pasty white and doughy skin. I can’t give it to him based on his pasty skin.

Heath Ledger plays that gay cowboy. Well, I like my gay cowboys to be played by gay actors. All the best actor awards go to people that are really like their characters. You didn’t know that? I'll give you some examples. The guy that played Hannibal Lechter? He really is a psychotic brain-eating killer. No, really he is. That’s why he got the best actor award. Whoopi Goldberg got her award because she really is an annoying black woman. See, the proof in irrefutable.

And the Oscar should go to:

I guess I’ll give it to Terrence Howard. Not sure why, so why not.

Best Actress:

Judi Dench is nominated for playing a women that exploits women. Felicity Huffman is nominated for playing a man wanting to be a women that finds out she has a total hotty of a son. Keira Knightly for some old boring book that was made into a movie about pride and something else. I can’t go for someone that would be in a movie about one of the seven deadly sins, though. Charlize Theron is nominated, too. Isn’t Charlize from South Africa? Aren’t they racist over there? I can’t get behind a racist. Reese Witherspoon for walking some line. Gosh, I don’t know….Um, let’s give it to Felicity Huffman because, even though she is not really a Tranny, she really looks like one on TV.

And the Oscar should go to:

Felicity Huffman.

I think there are a lot of other awards I could go through, but I won’t because my cell phone is ringing. Enjoy the Oscars!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Everywhere You Want To Be

This investigation brought to you by VISA.

via Americablog

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

What Happened To My Gilmore Girls

I was willing to give GG another chance last night, alas, the chance was forsaken in yet another episode detailing the vortex of suckage this once proud and fun show has been spiraling. Sigh. I so miss the days of "ladida" happiness and Luke grumpiness. Now we have angry jilted lovers, a marriege proposal that makes NO sense whatsoever! and Luke being a complete tool to Lorelei (I don't know how to spell that name). While there were moments of the old GG, like when the band was playing at a totally cool bat mistfah, or when Paris wanted the Chinese food delivery guy (see: Rory) to think she was having a fun, fun party. But of those two things, the "new" reality based GG crept in with all the fighting and talk of discipline and fidelity. Grrrr. I miss the nutiness.

So it seems I will have to find a new favorite show to love with all my heart. I have been toying with sending my allegiances to Grey's Anatomy, but Grey's is bordering on too much soapy-ness (I know what you think, "but Michael, Grey's Anatomy is a night time SOAP!). And yes, you would be correct in pointing out the obvious, but there are distinctions, they are subtle, but there are distictions. The distinctions are so subtle it is impossible to explain, it's is a feeling one gets. If you can't get the feeling, I can't help you.

Until a new show comes out with the heart and soul of the old GG, I will be floating through the vast emptiness that is currently broadcast television.

At least I can sustain myself with the continuing hope of Jared Padelicki running through a dark forest without a shirt on...