Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Blog Crush

We all have them, Blog Crushes. These are crushes we have for bloggers we have never met and, maybe, don't even know what these bloggers look like. But that doesn't stop us from laughing with them and having the ever so tiny crush.

Here are some of mine:

Toby of Vividblurry. I have seen his picture and even with his body dysmorphic problems, he is consistently one the funniest bloggers around. I'm just glad I am able to enjoy his humor before alcoholism destroys his liver and he is left incontinent and bitter.

Gabe and Damien of Pretty Boys Club. For all I know these two are one really old guy with a great sense of humor. But if these two are real, their short IM conversations always bring a smile to my face, the hot pictures are a bonus. I have no doubt that they are "totally hot and if they ever met in real life they'd probably hook up," which is something I wouldn't mind seeing.

French Benj. He's funny, dapper, cute (the other Benj is not bad, either) and French! My blog crush was compounded when Benj discovered the vacuous wisdom of the Brat Boy. And he looks good in a suit!

And there is Kyle of See Kyle Draw fame. His drawing and paintings are fun and whimsical (I printed one out and use it as a background for my name plate at work. Don't worry, Kyle I give credit to you with a link to your site), and he has the best movie reviews, next to mine, of course.

Dan Savage. Now Dan doesn't have a blog, per se, but he does blog at The Stranger every now and then. I love his politcs, his books, and the fact that he is a gay daddy just makes crush that much more. I have seen Dan in person a couple of times and he is funny, smart and cute. A guy that came up with ITMFA and Santorum, is yummy!

These Dreamz

Odd night last night.

I had a couple dreams last night that were a bit odd - I'll just run through them quickly as I am at work and should look like I'm doing work, in the least.

One dream I was talking to a very religious women (it was twilight out) about...I'm not sure what about but I do know I told her I respect her beliefs but that I just don't understand her completely. She then had my cell phone (I was not in the room at the time, but I knew she had the phone), and downloaded an episode of the Simpsons. At the same time, I had her cell phone and was trying to figure it out. The phone kept making this scratchy noise when I pushed any of the buttons, I couldn't get it to work (and her cell phone was pretty big for some reason). Then I was back in the room with the women asking what she did to my phone. That was it. Oh, and out the front door was a huge meadow/field/valley.

The other dreams I had were not the standard dreams, more like waking dreams. I was lying in bed and I thought the corner of my bed seemed lower so I reached under the mattress and pulled it up to "fix" it. I pulled the mattress up only once, but remember thinking about how the bed was broken a couple of times during the night. Like I said, though, I don't know if this happened in a dream or not.

The other thing is when I saw a red dot above my radio and thought it was a red dot from a laser scope from a rifle, I waved my hand in front of the dot to see what would happen. Nothing did. I looked toward the curtains in my room in the hopes I could see where the red dot was coming from, I thought I saw red a dot on my curtains, but I didn't do anything about, I just went back to sleep. That's all I remember from that. And sometime during the night I turned off my alarm clock. When I woke up this morning I realized the red dot is the light on my answering machine!

This morning I woke up feeling the most refreshed I have been in a long time, oddly enough.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Welcome To The Former United States Of America

No need for the terrorists to threaten Constitutional freedoms when we have our own government

Seriously, call your congressmen NOW

Drive By Review - X-Man III: The Last Stand

Who needs to sustain emotional resonance when you can have lots of big explosions?

Well, there is still hope for Superman.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Organic Peanut Butter

You know when you buy organic/natural peanut butter and you have to stir the peanut butter so the oil mixes in with the peanut butter? And you know how the oil will spill over the edge of the jar? And you know how you never really get it completely mixed so that when you get to the bottom of the jar there is that near-rock like clump of peanut butter that was missed during the initial mixing? You don't? Well, I'll tell ya, it's annoying.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Overheard In An Elevator About 3 Minutes Ago

"I don't think she looks any different for leaving the surgery early."

I guess she'll come back later for the rest of the bypass...?

A Mouthful

"A tyrant must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Subjects are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has the gods on his side."


Hat tip to Scott-O-Rama

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A Day, A Life

Ever have one of those days at work where you are simply bored out of your mind? I'm having one of those days right now, which is why I am writing this while at work and will disciplined for it, I'm sure, if the powers that be are paying attention. At least if I get disciplined, something will have happened today. The reason, I think, why I am so bored is simple, really. I have been doing the same job for so long I can do it blindfolded, tied to chair with prairie dogs running around - I'm that good. I do have a meeting I am in charge of at 2:00 pm today, but I have already prepared for that (took about a 1/2 hour). So, here I sit wondering what to do and talk about...How about the "key word search" on Statcounter?

There is "Jared Padalecki shirtless", "Nancy Boy conditioner", "my sissy son", and "'80's dolphin shorts." FASCINATING.

I have about 40 pageloads per day with 24 unique visitors and 20 first time visitors and (this is depressing) 4 returning visitors. I guess I need to do something to spice up the site. How about pictures of really hot guys? I don't think that's ever been tried before. I can open up a whole new dimension of blogging! A pioneer, I would be.

I am read mostly by people in the U.S. followed by Canada, Australia, Netherlands, Singapore, Israel, Malaysia, and The United Kingdom. Welcome all!

Someone from The Health and Welfare Agency Data Center has made a visit and someone from Wielkopolskie, Poznan, Poland; Queensland, Gold Coast, Australia; Oregon, Portland, United States (hot toddy?); and Ohio, Strongsville, United States. Hi, everyone. Thanks for visiting and all that...

The building management here at the office has seen fit to place some sort of plastic tinting on the windows which makes the outside look perpetually overcast and rainy. It's not until you walk outside that you realize the sun is actually out. Annoying, I tell ya! What it reminds me of is how the hazy sunshine looks in Southern California (I'm from San Diego, so I know of what I speak).

Let's see...what else. Oh, I am taking this week off from the gym, so I expect to become a bit grumpy followed by caustic starting around Wednesday, 4:00 pm. You have been warned.

I was chatting with someone in the office the other day and we were both talking about we need to do something to make life more interesting. I told her I was thinking about becoming an alcoholic, recover, write a book, appear on Oprah, get caught in the lies from the book, appear on Oprah (because you don't cross the "O") disappear into the literary ether. But then I remembered I don't like drinking. Oh, well, it's nice to dream. Instead I have decided to volunteer at some theater here in San Francisco (get back to my roots, as it were). What? You didn't know I used to ba a production manager for a performing arts center in San Diego? I was. I think it is time to get back to the theatah.

Well, that's it for today, I have that meeting I mentioned to get to. Buh, bye.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Cohen, Revealed

There is no god, but there is Leonard Cohen

Friday, May 19, 2006

MUNI Speaks

MVOG = MUNI Voice Of God

MVOG: "Because of the delay, the next outbound train is inbound at Church Street Station."

Me: "...?" inner voice: The next outbound train is inbound...!

MVOG: "The next outbound train is inbound at Church, but will turn around at Embarcadero, please do not board the outbound train at the inbound platform for the outbound train."

Me: inner voice: I've lived here 12 years and I'm getting confused.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Can't Wait

I find it interesting that, it seems, the big battle takes place in San Francisco. I'm sure the producers knew exactly what they were doing and saying.

This Is Integrity

Russ Feingold, hero


From CNN via Crooks and Liars

Monday, May 15, 2006


I was a European History Major in college (Italian Renaissance and Medieval France), now that college is a number of years behind me, I feel the urge to find out what happened on this side of the pond (with all the rhetoric about separation of church and state, I want to know what those old guys that found this country really thought about religion and government among others things -even though I have a pretty good idea what our founding fathers thought of the mixture of religion and politics). I have already read, His Excellency: George Washington by Joseph Ellis which was a good primer to move on to the other fathers of our country, Madison, Jefferson, Monroe, etc (Bush could learn a few things about Presidential restraint by reading about Washington, that is if I had any faith Bush read at all).

Any suggestions of what biographies are good?

Quote of the day. Well, just a quote.

From The Pen15 Club, "The View thrives on boorish, obnoxious ignorance".

Never have I read a better description of that train wreck of a show, The View.

Make 'em laugh, make 'em laugh....

Sunday, May 14, 2006

The Greatest Animated Character Ever Created

Drive By Review: The Rules Of Attraction

Talk about an utimely review!

From the opening credits to the closing credits, everything, I mean everything, in this film is, to its core, unpleasant.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

New Movie Star On Boarding Procedures

Welcome to Hollywood! As you know you have been chosen to be "the next big thing" to hit the movie biz. We here at Mega Star Talent Creations (The Agency) would like to welcome and thank you for selling your soul for a lifetime fame and financial security(for clarification, "lifetime" means if your previous film grossed over $100,000,000 or you are dating Julie Roberts Angelina Jolie Scarlett Johansson). Please take time to peruse the document (not too much time, we have a lunch meeting at Spago). It is vital that you follow the instructions listed below to the letter (we have been making stars for a very long time, we know what we are doing. Kevin Costner ignored this list and we all know what happened there!)

Below you will find instrusions on how to conduct yourself during interviews. The Agency will inform you when it time to use certain answers.

1. During filming of your first Blockbuster, during interviews you must act naive to what "all this hoopla" is about.

2. You are to repeat over and over again at how honored and thrilled you are to work with [insert name] and that you are fulfilling a dream. (this can be dropped after your fist 100 million dollar grossing film)

3. You are to act embarrassed and ask (verbatim), "ah, geeze, where'd your get that?" when [insert name of entertainment show] shows your highschool prom/graduation/[insert pre-approved club] photo.

4. You must be hesitant to talk about your personal life (we have all learned what happens when you let your real personality and views come through; see: Tom Cruise).

5. When you do relent to talk about your personal life, you grew up in a quiet suburban home in [insert "the valley, outside New York, or some farm in the Midwest](depending of what tests best, we will let you know where you grew up).

6. When you moved to Hollywood, you packed up your [insert VW Van, VW Bug, beat up Suburu/Sentra or '77 Volvo] and drove out "with a simple dream of being in the movies."

7. When you arrived in Hollywood, you stayed on the couch at your cousin's place in the valley and worked in/as (depending on how you test) construction/waiter/GAP sales associate (still working on the GAP endorsement, hold off on this until endorsement is confirmed.)

8. You are currently enjoying the anonymity and are not seeking fame, you are just happy to be a working "actor".

9. When asked about rumors that your next project is working with [insert name of powerhouse director/producer], you are to say "I don't know anything about that, I'm just concentrating on making [insert name of current project].

10. You will be supplied with a Golden Retriever as your "best pal" (be sure to mention the dog in interviews, fans go ape-shit for this kind of crap).

11. Attached is a pre-approved list of therapists. You are required to choose one therapist you are seeing currently, one you saw years ago and one that your best friend, [insert name of "B" actor] is rumored to be seeing. (This is only to be used after your box office clout is established and The Agency is ready to let a more personal side out.)

You are to follow the guidelines above to the letter at all times. You are not to mention the list to anyone. This includes girlfriends/boyfriends (or both, depending), family, casual friends, friends, the barista at Starbucks, any hooker/rentboy you pick up. Failure to comply will result in what The Agency has dubbed "Feldman'd", named after Corey Feldman (you don't want to be "Feldman'd" - trust).

If there are any questions, you can call The Agency help desk by dialing 666 on your Agency supplied cell phone.

Monday, May 08, 2006

I Do Not Hate Children

One of my co-workers (she's a manager, so calling her "one of my co-workers" is stretching it), anyway, one of my, ahem, co-workers came into the office today with her new 6 week old baby to show him/her to the office (I'm not sure of the gender, to be honest, and I didn't make much of an effort to find out). Honestly, you would have thought Christopher Reeve came back from the dead and started walking with all the commotion this kid hath rot.
I was in the middle of having a mini meeting with one of the managers about finding a cubicle for a new hire when she gets up and tells me, "let's deal with this tomorrow." With that, she practically runs across the office to see this little "miracle" of meat. Arrrghh! As this manager is galloping down the hall to gaze at the kid, I'm left with...well, nothing. So, I walked down to my cube to follow-up on some other tasks that needed my attention. Walking back to my cube, I had to navigate my way through the throngs of people that had, evidently, never seen a baby before in their lives, after getting back to my cube one of the girls in the office came over to me and said, "I didn't know you didn't like babies?" I looked up and said, "What?"
"I didn't know you didn't like babies?" she said
"No. Babies are fine, why?" I asked.
She went to explain how I didn't even stop to look at the baby and how she thought that was just strange. I said, "I just have to get some things done." She says, "oh, okay," and turns away. WTF? I'm sorry, am I obligated to make googly sounds at every baby that a co-worker brings into the office? (and there have been quite a few this year). I don't consider babies some sort of miracle, I just don't. I have about 10 cousins that have given birth and I have held practically all of these kids. My sister had a baby and I flew down that same weekend to see her and her new baby (there are even pictures of me holding my niece, my niece sleeping on my chest while I watch T.V., me feeding my niece - this was after the whole breast feeding stage was done.) I think my credentials as a "not a baby hater" are pretty rock solid. But to treat every baby as a miracle? Not going to happen. Women have been giving birth for thousands of years, and yet we still think it's a miracle. I don't get it. You know what is a miracle? A miracle is that I live in my own apartment is San Francisco, have a 401k plan, health insurance, and two saving accounts. Two savings accounts with what I make a year? That's the miracle.
But I do not hate children. I'm indifferent. Yes. Indifferent


Update: Maybe it is a miracle...

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Constitution? What Constitution?

Weeee, I'm the President, I'm supposed to uphold the Constitution. Except when I don't

A New Film Festival

With all these film festivals going around:

Fresno Filmworks 2nd Annual Film Festival
Indianapolis International Film Festival
The Road to Damascus: Discovering Syrian Cinema
Tribeca Film Festival
San Francisco Film Festival
Santa Cruz Film Festival
Trenton Film Festival
Victoria Erotica Film Festival
San Francisco International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
San Francisco Jewish Film Festival
Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
Toronto International Film Festival
Cannes Film Festival
Berlin Film Festival
and, I'm sure, many, many others, I have decided to start my own film festival...wait for it...wait...

...Michael's Studio Apartment International DVD Rental Film Festival.

Come join Michael's closest friend enjoying the finest cinema available for rental from the place up the street. This is a participatory event where attendees will walk up the street with Michael and choose what is left to rent from the rental place up the street. Since Michael doesn't get home until later, you will have to choose from the titles that have not been rented for the evening like, Showgirls, The Eyes of Tammy Faye, Vegas in Space, Trick, and the finest selection of Adult titles from, Falcon Studio, Men of Odyssey, Hot House, Club Inferno, Man's Best, Bel-Ami, and many others.

Yes, this is truly the next wave in Film Festivals, the first ever Choose Your Own Movie Festival. With interactive websites becoming all the range, the producers of Michael's Studio Apartment International DVD Rental Film Festival bring you the ultimate in interactive entertainment! Come down and choose the movie you want to see from the available inventory from the rental place up the street. Hurry and sign up, space is limited. Don't delay this new concept in film festivalilty is sure to catch on fast. Be sure to be among the first to attend the First Annual Michael's Studio Apartment International DVD Rental Film Festival.

Feeling The Love

On hold with Network Support for 10 minutes, the recorded voice (with nice background music) assures me over and over again that "we appreciate your patience."

The faceless voice APPRECIATES MY PATIENCE! Can you feel the love? I'm all tingly.

Who says corporate America is cold and heartless. Not me. Oh no, not me.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

He's Back

It's time to look to the sky, again.

Make Me Laugh

On last night's Veronica Mars, Veronica had a line of dialogue that I am compelled to pass along.

"Nobody likes a blond in a hamster ball."

Maybe you had to be there.

Boycott MI:III

Because Tom Cruise is such a batshit nut job with his vitamins will cure everything, Oprah couch jumping, baby named after the town where L Ron Hubbard was born, freaky death-stare interview antics, a boycott is born.

Won't you join me in NOT seeing Mission Impossible III? C'mon, everyonee is doing it!

Spread the word.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006


Walking from Montgomery Street Station to work this morning, I noticed an increase in the homeless population scattered about. There also seemed to be a few more mumblers and yellers than what normally make their presence known. Must be spring in San Francisco. The weather is nice, nay, beautiful, this morning.

I kinda of blew up at someone at work yesterday for no real reason, well, there was a reason, but it was not justified to blow up at this particular person. Need to apologize today. Work Stress. Ugh.

Never eat a bunch of almonds before bed. Weird dreams

My boss gave me an gift card for $200. You would think I wouldn't have any problem going out and buying something, but I always have trouble buying things. I will visit a store about 4 or 5 separate times looking at something I'm thinking of buying before I actually buy it. Honestly, I'm surprised I haven't been kicked out of some stores for fear the store thinks I'm casing the joint in order to rob the place. I'm waffling between buying a bed frame (currently, I am using a simple metal frame, I think it may be time for a proper wood frame. There is a frame that I saw on one those, ahem, adult sites that I kinda like. I wonder if I sent an email to the site and asked where they got the bed that "Jack, Jonatan, Kurt: Tag Team" were utilizing. Do you think they would tell me? I am also thining about new couch. With two choices, it will be next year before I make a decision, I'm sure. I do feel I must clarify that I am not indecisive, I just want to make sure what I am buying is really what I want. Buyers remorse is no fun.

Not a bad weekend, went to Jamison's birthday party. Nice crowd showed up, everyone had a good time mingling. Talked to some nice people, some nice people I talked to had boyfriends, of course, as I found out later. Hopes dashed. Why do the nicest people all seem to have boyfriends? If you have a boyfriend, I think you should be mean so I don't get the wrong impression. I used to be really shy while at parties and never talked to anyone, a while ago I decided that was stupid and counter productive and started talking to people. Social skill much improved.
Learned I cannot drink anything anymore! Two drinks and I wake up the next morning with a headache. It seems I cannot drink alcohol anymore. Water from now on. Two Drinks! Let's see what else happened this weekend...ah, yes. My rent has been raised by an astonishing $15! I've decided when my rent reaches a thousand, it will be time to move.

I think it is time to start doing cardio at the gym again. Most of my pants are getting a little too tight. Problem is finding the time for cardio. After lifting weights for an hour, I just want to go home. Mentally, my mind turns off after being at the gym for more than an hour. I'm afraid if I cut my weight training routine I will lose muscle mass; I don't want to do that. I'll figure something out. Anyone out there have a good routine that keeps muscle mass and has a good cardio routine? The life of a gym rat is never easy.

Well, there you have the minutiae of my life...