Portland Calling

For about a year and a half, I have played with the idea of moving from San Francisco to Portland or Seattle. I was playing with this moving idea because I felt I was in a bit of a rut here is San Francisco (with my job, mostly), but now things seem to be looking up on the job front, so I have put off the idea of moving for the time being. I still have a sense that I will move, just not for the next couple of years (2 or 3 at the outset). But something interesting has happened - Portland keeps popping up in my life.

I started to see a pattern after I read this story from The Stranger, I then remembered when was flipping through the channels (all 9 of then- I don't have cable) sometime this week, and what do I happen upon? COPS was in, that's right, Portland. On top of all that, I will be leaving on an R.V. trip next week with two friends that live, not in Portland, but in Bend, Oregon (a couple hours east of Portland). Now Darin and Greg (from Bend), tell me they can see me really liking Portland. With that, The Stranger's Blog has an entry about Portland, too. Not to mention Todd and Pony and their show (which is very funny, BTW) are up there! Am I wrong to see the undeniable cosmic forces pulling me towards Portland, Oregon? Am I?

And another reason to move to Portland? I hate hot weather. And with all this Global Warming going on, San Francisco is getting to warm for me.

And My Crazy Love For Dan Savage Grows

Everything he does is like Mana.

A Bit Of An Explanation

Since I have been flooded with questions relating to this post, (one comment is anomaly, two a trend), I feel the need to explain myself.

When I was a freshman in High School (might have been a sophomore), I was in my English class, and we were reading some dreadfully boring book on Greek Mythology. As the pain from reading Ms. Hamilton's incredibly dry prose continued, a student, for some reason, said something about Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood fame. The first thing out of my teacher's mouth was "he probably pees sitting down." Now, I don't know what you, my dear reader, might think she meant by this, but as a budding gay-boy, I felt she was making some anti-gay remark. I felt a little sad, confused and a bit angry because, even back then, I would pee sitting down. Now I did this because:

1) I lived in Southern California, and, therefore wore shorts most of the time. Because I wore shorts, anytime I would pee standing up there would be the inevitable, um, splatter or splash back. Because I wore shorts a lot, I would feel the splatter and think, "Ooooh, gross".

2) It seems undignified to pee standing up, IMHO (unless at a bar-then it is okay).

3) I can't stand the sound of pee hitting the water. Don't know why, but it just gross' me out.

4) Not sure if this has ANYTHING to do with this, but I am gay(?)

Anyway, after I heard my English teacher's comment about Mr. Rogers and peeing while sitting down, I always felt I was somehow the only guy that peed sitting down and I felt, on some level, it meant I was doing something wrong.

Who's Talking Now.

It's Saturday and I I'm having one of those days where I don't really feel like doing anything, even though I really need to go to the gym and get out and do some shopping for my epic RV trip through Utah in September. I woke up at around 9:30 this morning (REALLY late for me), rolled out of bed threw on a pair of jeans, shirt and a hat (bed head) and went up to Cala to buy some cereal and milk since I didn't have anything in the apartment for breakfast. Came home, mixed a protein shake, ate, watched some TV, ignored my cell phone (sorry Jamison) and then fired up the Mac and decided to listen to Dan's first podcast from his newly titled blog, Dan Nation.

Dan had as his guest Jimmi from The Jimmi Chronicles and a special call-in guest Darin from All Prep and no H. The show was going well until Darin came on board- that's when I started getting all confused. Let me explain why. You know how people that own dogs sometimes start to look like their dogs? Well, as there is a corollary with dogs and their owners, there is a corollary between gays and their voices. Just as owners and their dogs start to look alike after a while, gays and their voices start to sound alike after a while. After listening to Dan, Jimmi, and Darin for a while, I couldn't distinguish the three from each other. Everyone's vowels started to elongate just like the other's with the special gay lilt to the voice we gays tend to adopt when we are all together (don't deny it, it's true and you know it!). About the only time I was able to tell who was talking was when Darin talked about Phoenix or All Prep and No H. Am I the only one that noticed this? As a work around for this problem when a group of gays get together for a podcast, I suggest some simple solutions.

1. Anytime someone speaks up, he should identify himself with a special call sign. Something along the lines of "this is Dan. Over"

2. If the podcast has the technology, anytime someone speaks, a small sound effect shall be employed to make identification easier, like: When, say, Darin speaks, we will hear the soothing "ahhhh" as if preparation H is being applied to someone's ass.

or

3. As we have all seen during political rallies when a sign language interpreter is provided at the side of the stage, an interpreter shall be provided during a podcast to identify whom is speaking at the time. Using Will Lyman, the narrator for Frontline on PBS would be a great choice. It would go something like this, "Now speaking, Dan of Dan Nation." Now this may add some time to a podcast (but add a great deal of gravitas),I think the benefits far out way the detriment.

So, there you have my suggestions for a better podcast when a group of gays decide to get together to talk about Poppers, Anonymous Sex and Free Clinics.

Okay, I gotta go and call Kell.

I Am Not Alone

Brought a tear to my eye - I thought I was the only one.


"I pee sittng down...and I'm a guy"

-from Postsecret

"Dear God, woman, do you have any idea what horrors I intend to visit upon that restroom?"

With a sentence like that, it has to be good

TMI? You decide.

Sexy Back

As I was falling asleep last night an idea for a really great, earth shaking, time warping entry came to mind. Unfortunately, as sometimes happens, I forgot to write it down. Oh well, humanities loss.

Instead, I will regale you with this little scene:

I was walking down Montgomery Street on my way to the office this morning with Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back going through my head. As I was standing at the corner of Bush and Montgomery waiting for the walk signal to change, I suddenly, out of the blue, blurted out for all to hear, "I'm bringing sexy back!" I quickly realized I had sung all that out loud, I looked around to see if anyone had heard me sing those magical lyrics. From the odd sideways glances and the one straight-on deer in the headlight stare from one older women, I surmised I had been heard. I walked on in the vain hope that maybe, just maybe, everyone thought I was actually Justin Timberlake. I don't think anyone thought that, which is too bad, it would would have really cool if they thought I was Justin Timberlake because to be indentified as the man bringing sexy back would have been the schizzz.

New Game

Because I am bored, bored, bored at work, I have come up with a new game (best played when one is bored, bored, bored at work).

Type www.[choose a phrase, word, etc].blogspot.com and see what happens. If you get an actuall blog, you must post part of the latest entry.

So far, I have typed www.lostsouls.blogspot.com. Last entry:

"Sunday, May 06, 2001
god dammit, fuck you. You completely forgot about me and then I say we should break up and you're just like alright, whatever, well I'm going to bed. Fuck you fuck you fuck you. What's so fucking wrong with me. Am I really that forgetable? Damn you. I really fucking hate you right now. Its like I don't even exist. I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you.
posted by Luscious Brunette at 1:36 AM "

Here's another from www.bloodrose.blogspot.com:

Monday, June 18, 2001
lol fuck i'm costing heaps on sms messaging ahahha ....never..ever..give a girl a phone..
i cost about 300 a week on sms messaging alone hahahah =) not my fault ppl keep
sms messaging so yeah if i have to reply i do *winks* =)
posted by blood rose at 9:25 PM

And from www.meathouse.blogspot.com:

"Sunday, July 11, 2004
Toe in the Water...

...to see if I can build an interesting blog. Worst case: it becomes a source of amusement for me, but I might be able to strike a nerve, garner some eyes and begin a conversation.

The fascinating thing about blogs for me is that one can focus as narrowly or broadly as one wishes, express freely and post worldwide."

Anyway, now you have a new game to occupy the time between sleep.

Let me know what you find.

Drive By Review: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

As dry as talcum powder, and brilliantly funny as an accountant abducted by pirates. And just part gay.

Linkalicious

I've added three new links to the left, Dan, JR, and Kalvin.

Did He Say "Camus"?

The President is reading Camus while on his 10-day vacation at his ranch?


No, no, he isn't reading Camus, he's reading Shamu.

Burning Question

I was having a conversation with someone in my office earlier about Burning Man. she asked me what Burning is and I tried to explain, but never having been myself, I feel I really couldn't do it justice. So, I was hoping my many reader would give me a good explanation. She then asked me if any black people went. Again, I could not give her a definitive answer as I have never gone myself (my mountain bike, on the other hand, has gone twice.). Disclosure: This person I was talking to is black, so she is not being somehow racially insensitive as many PCer's are wont to think.

Out of those two questions, I must say, the question of whether black people go to Burning Man is the most intriguing. I said I would find out and get back to her.

If you do not want to answer those questions, you can look at what I bought on Saturday for my RV trip in September.

"X"

What does it mean when all of the "nice" pics from JR's blog don't download (all I get is a box with the little red "x" in the corner), but all of the nasty Dore Alley Fair pics download?

Quote...

"Any woman who is all woman, or any man who is all man, is a complete monster - unfit for human company"

-Armistead Maupin channeling his grandmother via AfterElton

MEME From Kel

How tall are you barefoot? 5’ 11 3/4”ish

Have you ever been cheated on? Not that I know of. I don't think I've ever been in a relationship long enough for that to happen.

Do you own a gun? No

If you had a mental disorder, what would it be? I really don’t know.

How many letters are in your crushes name? One has five, the other I don’t know his name – he’s a guy that lives across the street from my Laundromat. He’s perfect….

What do you think of hot dogs? I like hot dogs, but only on certain occasions. The best hot dog (this one was a chili dog)I ever had was at 3:00 am (it might have 4:00 am) in New Orleans while walking back to my hotel from the French Quarter (it was Southern Decadence). I was tired, sobering up and just had a wonderfully scandalous time at Café La Fitte (sp?).

What’s your favorite Christmas song? Any song from Bing Crosby’s White Christmas, but the song White Christmas is at the top of my list, though.

What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water

Do you do push-ups? Only when I don’t think I got a good enough work out at the gym.

Have you ever done ecstasy? Yes. First time was the most amazing experience. The subsequent times, not so great – that’s why I stopped.

Do you have a boyfriend? No.

Do you like the rain? Depends on my mood.

Do you own a knife? I assume you mean other than a kitchen-type knife, but yes, I do own a knife-a leftover from my Theater Days (I was a techie).

What do you smell like? I don’t smell, ask Chad.

Do you have A.D.D.? Nope. I’m not that trendy

Full initials? MWB.

Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
"Vroom"
Video Killed the Radio Star
I need to get to The Sports Basement this weekend


Name the last 3 things you have bought today. I haven’t bought anything yet, it only 8:15 am. I’ll update this later today. Okay, just back from lunch and bought a Salmon sandwich with a side salad, no dressing.

Name five drinks you regularly drink. Water, MetRx Protein Shake, Odwalla Superfood, Milk (only in cereal). I know this is odd, but that’s really all I drink on a regular basis.

What time did you wake up today? 6:30 am – later than usual.

Can you spell? Of corse.

Current worry? I worry about something I really can’t do a whole lot about, so I just push it out of my mind.

Current hate? I really don’t hate, I get frustrated with things, but to call it hate is a bit strong. Okay, maybe my job, sometimes.

Favorite place to be? With friends doing nothing or something…

Least favorite place to be? Depends. I know, bad answer.

Where would you want to go? Everywhere.

Do you own slippers? No.

Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years? I honestly don’t have a clue.

Do you burn or tan? Burn. I don’t tan, I burst into flame.

Yellow or Blue? Blue.

Would you give up your current life to be a pirate? No. I like to shower and white teeth.

Last time your cell rang? Yesterday at around 7:30 pm, I think. It was Mikey.

What songs do you sing in the shower? I don’t sing in the shower, I usually have internal conversations with myself.

What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? I don’t recall having any fears like that when I was a kid. I remember having some unpleasant dreams, but no lingering fears.

What do you have in your pocket right now? Chapstick, 6 dollars, electronic pass so I can enter the office building.

Last thing that made you laugh? It was something Mikey and I were talking about. The last big guffaw-like laugh? Talking to Bryan in about his upcoming surgery.

Favorite bed sheets as a child? Didn’t have a favorite. Wait. I did have a set that was blue and had some sort of design on it. Space, or cowboys…cant’ really remember what was on the sheets, but I remember I liked them.

Worst injury you’ve ever had? I guess that would be when I cracked my head open on a ceramic sombrero salsa and chip thingy.

What is your GPA? I’ll just leave this one blank.

How many TVs do you have in your house? 1

Who is your loudest friend? That would be Chad, although Kel is gaining.

Who is your most silent friend? Hard to say. You know, I would honestly have to say, me, I’m really the quietest person I know.

Does someone have a crush on you? I think so.

Do you wish on stars? Can’t say that I do.

Do you believe in magic? I believe in the power of people to do magical things. Not the same as magic.

What song represents how you feel at the moment? Don’t know…I don’t listen to a lot of music.

What song did you last hear? Mr. Brightside

What song do you want played at your funeral? Oh, that’s easy. Rainbow Connection – it must be the original Kermit version! If they play some over the top, sexified R&B Beyonce version, I will rise from the ashes and bring a swarm of locust down upon all! Got it? Kermit the frog is the only one that should ever, ever, ever sing Rainbow Connection.

All this talk of Rainbow Connection reminds me of this post I wrote back in July of 2005.

What were you doing 12AM last night? Sleeping and, I guess, dreaming.

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? "Eh, I’ll just be a little late to work." It was 6:30 am.

It's Dan Savage's Fault

Proof that gays are destroying the sacred institution of marriege

Rainbow Connection

There are a few good things in life, this is one of them:

I'm back!

Finally figure out why I wasn't able to update TNTP. I'll have something new to post sometime today or tomorrow. Ahh, good to be back.