Spot On!

The Fifty-Five Year Old Virgin

Suze Orman is gay!

I always thought her financial advice was a bit dikey.

via: AmericaBlog

Anna Nicole Smith's Newborn Daughter To Get Custody Of Body

Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn is to get custody of Smith's body, judge rules. "Ooooh, and ahhhs" were heard throughout the court room when Dannielynn began teething on the cold lifeless toe of Anna Nicole Smith. An older women was quoted, saying, "oh, that's precious."

Anna Nicole Smith's mother is said to be repealing the ruling.

via CNN (sort of)

Another Worthy CNN Headline.

"Anna Nicole Smith's mother gives emotional testimony" in Yellow!!!

Smith's mother confirms that her daughter is, in fact, still dead. CNN editors run to the wire and post this astonishing revelation.

Update: CNN has removed the yellow headline, sadly. I really need to get some screen capture sofware so I can post screen caps.

Australia To Ban Incandescent Bulbs

This is the type of bold move we need in this country.

CANBERRA, Australia - Australia will be the world’s first country to ban incandescent light bulbs in a bid to curb greenhouse gas emissions, with the government saying on Tuesday they would be phased out within three years.

British and Californian lawmakers also have been lobbying for bans on incandescent light bulbs, which lose much of their energy as heat.

I've already replaced the incandescent bulb in my bathroom with a compact fluorescent bulb and will replace the rest in my apartment as soon I replace the dimmer switches (compact fluorescent bulbs do not work with dimmers).

C'mon, won't you join me and help the environment?

Here's a link to California's State Assembly Members:
California

Sacrifice? We Don't Need No Stinking Sacrifice!

On August 29, 2006, President Bush, in an interview with NBC's Brian Wilson, tells us how missing flights is equal to, I don't know, a soldiers sacrifice, I guess...

WILLIAMS: The folks who say you should have asked for some sort of sacrifice from all of us after 9/11, do they have a case looking back on it?

BUSH: Americans are sacrificing. I mean, we are. You know, we pay a lot of taxes. America sacrificed when they, you know, when the economy went into the tank. Americans sacrificed when, you know, air travel [italics mine]was disrupted. American taxpayers have paid a lot to help this nation recover. I think Americans have sacrificed.

Born with a silver foot in his mouth, indeed.

Worst President Ever

The Onion Strikes? Well, Not Quite.

From the first paragraph of a story from...CNN:

The British police protection officer responsible for Prince Harry has flown to Iraq to begin making security arrangements for the royal soldier's deployment to Iraq amid fears for his safety, according to British press reports.

"amid fears for his safety" If only the British were so concerned about the safety of, oh, the other soldiers!

The British police are sending, essentially, a bodyguard to Iraq to protect Prince Harry. While he is deployed in Iraq. Iraq. A bodyguard. In Iraq. I bet all those others soldiers wish they had a bodyguard to protect them from, you know, those insurgents and that civil war thingy going on over there. Maybe if all our soldiers had bodyguards, there wouldn't be so many casualties. It could be like how actors have stunt doubles. It only looks like the actor was thrown 30 feet in the air when the IED detonated.

I can imagine the story:

Five bodyguards were killed today protecting five American soldiers in Iraq when a roadside bomb exploded. No soldiers were harmed.

President Bush has taken credit for the sharp decrease in American casualties since the implementation of the 'Bodyguard Initiative' that he adopted in January, "I'm happy to announce the complete success of the initiative I ordered my Generals to put into place to sharply decrease the amount of casualties our brave men and women of the armed forces have been enduring has been a complete success. Since the the armed services started assigning one bodyguard per soldier, casualties have dropped 100%." The President was later heard to mumble under his breath, "eat that, Democrats."

And the world continues to turn upside down.

Teddy Roosevelt and Criticizing the President

"The President is merely the most important among a large number of public servants. He should be supported or opposed exactly to the degree which is warranted by his good conduct or bad conduct, his efficiency or inefficiency in rendering loyal, able, and disinterested service to the Nation as a whole.

Therefore it is absolutely necessary that there should be full liberty to tell the truth about his acts, and this means that it is exactly necessary to blame him when he does wrong as to praise him when he does right. Any other attitude in an American citizen is both base and servile.

To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else."

From a 1918 Op-Ed piece in the Kansas City Star

via Glenn Greenwald

A New Oracle At Castro

Spoke with Kel the other day wherein he told me he had a dream that we were driving around San Francisco looking for a home for me to buy. In Kel's dream, nay vision, while we are looking for a house for me to buy, we were driving in a new car I had evidently just purchased (it would seem I somehow got hired into a job that pays remarkably well - a new car and looking for a house!). I'm not sure when this will happen, Kel never gave me any dates (oracles are like that), but I figure if this does not happen soon, I will be forced to condemn Kel for false testimony, which will lead me to the only solution: Kel must be burnt at the stake. If it worked for the Catholic Church, Protestant Salem, etc., it works for me.

For your own sake, Kel, I hope your dream is correct.

Anyone know of a good place for a nice heretic burning.

Gratuitous Doggy Pic

I miss having a dog...

I Must Have Missed That Meeting

The headline in the Bay Area Reporter concerning Gavin Newsom's travails:

Gays rally around Newsom

I imagine the meeting went something like this:

Gay: "I propose *snicker, snicker, I said "propose". Oh, how ironic we gays are. Ahem, anyway, I propose we gays rally around Newsom."

Other Gay: Yes, I second your proposal *snicker*, *snicker*, goodness we gays are a funny lot."

Gay: Well, let's put it to a vote, shall we? All in favor of rallying around Newsom say 'I'".

Other Gay: Um, we're the only ones here. I think a quorum has already been established."

Gay: "Oh, right."

Other Gay: "So, how are we going to do this?

Gay: "We could march to city hall..."

Other Gay: "Yeah, I suppose. Or we could just call the B.A.R and tell them the gays have decided to rally around Newsom. Should make a good headline."

Gay: "Totally! Let's do that."

I'm really not this cynical in real life, honest. Okay, maybe I am.

Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole! what about iraq? Shut up! Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!

Because nothing is as important as a national icon like Anna Nicole.

"I remember when she negotiated that treaty between Isreal and Egypt, that was sweet. What? That wasn't her? Oh. Whatever. Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!"

via Think Progress:

The death of Anna Nicole Smith yesterday was a feeding frenzy for the national media, and coverage of the war was drowned out: NBC’s Nightly News devoted 14 seconds to Iraq compared to 3 minutes and 13 seconds to Anna Nicole. CNN referenced Anna Nicole 522% more frequently than it did Iraq. MSNBC was even worse — 708% more references to Anna Nicole than Iraq.

Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!Anna Nicole!

Rufus Wainwright...YAY!!!

I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Rufus Wainwright has annouced details of his upcoming album and I am all aflutter with anticipation...


Rufus Wainwright will release his fifth album, Release the Stars, on Geffen in May. Pet Shop Boys singer Neil Tennant executive produced the Want Two follow-up, which is Wainwright's first self-produced album. Producer Marius DeVries (David Bowie, Björk, Madonna, Melanie C) mixed the record, and it features contributions from Richard Thompson, Joan Wasser (Antony and the Johnsons, Joan as Police Woman), and actress Siân Phillips as well.

via pitchfork
Oh, and Joe.My.God

"Political views, not intelligence consensus, imbued White House case, watchdog says"

This is nothing new to those with any sense of what is going on in Washington, but this is important because now that the Dems are in charge, accountability is the name of the game. Thank goodness.

Now, if someone would just impeach the idiot.

"The bottom line is that intelligence relating to the Iraq-al Qaeda relationship was manipulated by high-ranking officials in the Department of Defense to support the administration's decision to invade Iraq," Levin said Thursday. "The inspector general's report is a devastating condemnation of inappropriate activities in the (Defense Department) policy office that helped take this nation to war."

via sfgate

President Bush: The most dangerous President Ever.

Three Ghosts

I don't think it is any secret that I do not like Bush (George). Okay, I admit it, I really don't like him. I don't believe any of the stories about how he is really a nice guy, one of the good boys. No, I think he is a bully and a simpleton that is ruled by his ego. Having said that, here's something that made me chuckle.

The Four Ghosts of the White House

One night, George W. Bush is tossing restlessly in his White House bed. He awakens to see George Washington standing by him Bush asks him, "George, what's the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises, and then fades away...
The next night, Bush is astir again, and sees the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moving through the darkened bedroom. Bush calls out, "Tom, please! What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Respect the Constitution, as I did," Jefferson advises, and dims from sight...
The third night sleep still does not come for Bush. He awakens to see the ghost of FDR hovering over his bed. Bush whispers, "Franklin, What is the best thing I can do to help the country?"
"Help the less fortunate, just as I did," FDR replies and fades into the mist...
Bush isn't sleeping well the fourth night when he sees another figure moving in the shadows. It is the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Bush pleads, "Abe, what is the best thing I can do right now to help the country?"
Lincoln replies, "Go see a play."

Gavin Newsom, Ted Haggard: Life's A Bitch

Wow. Gavin Newsom is going to undergo treatment for alcohol addiction. My cynicism with regard to politics tells me we will soon hear, as a way to skirt any real responsibility, that Newsom was either:

A) Abused as a child
B) A child of alcoholics
C) Molested by his parish priest
D) All of the above

And praise the lord and pass the meth, Ted Haggard is cured of being a flippen flamin' fag! After trying to become a hetero his whole life, he is cured in three weeks! That's some ex-gay therapy they got up in Colorado.

I wonder if they can cure me of my cynicism.

Largest gay rights group slams Mars over homophobic Snickers Superbowl ad; demands it and other homophobic ads be pulled from Web site

"WASHINGTON – The Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender civil rights organization, is calling on the makers of Snickers, and its parent company Mars Inc., to pull the ad campaign launched yesterday during the Superbowl. The ad features two presumably straight men who accidentally engage in a kiss and then try to distance themselves from any perception of being gay by “doing something manly.”

Three alternate endings to the commercial spot are posted on the Snickers website, one of which includes the two men violently attacking one another – which sends a dangerous message to the public condoning violence against gay Americans."

Read the rest of the article via Americaglog

The Queen

Walked over to look at the QM 2 during lunch today. Big ship. That is all.

Drive By Review: Open Season

An animated feature where the story is so bad and the voices so miscast, one wonders who had to have been fired for this disaster.

The Virgin Mary

How long can Mary Cheney continue to live in her little hypocritical vacuum?

My secret LOOVER, Dan Savage, hits the nail on the head, yet again (referring to Mary's stance that her not-yet-born kid is not a "political prop".

"Yes, it's a baby, not a prop. My kid isn't a prop either, but that never stopped right-wingers from attacking me and my boyfriend over our decision to become parents. The fitness of same-sex couples to parent is very much part of the political debate thanks to the GOP and the Christian bigots that make up its lunatic "base." You're a Republican, Mary, you worked on both of your father's campaigns, and you kept your mouth clamped shut while Karl Rove and George Bush ran around the country attacking gay people, gay parents, and our children in 2000, 2002, 2004, and 2006. It's a little late to declare the private choices of gays and lesbians unfit for public debate, Mary."

via: The Slog

'boarding

I finally realized why it is I really want a new, better paying job.

I want to snowboard