Monday, February 19, 2007

The Onion Strikes? Well, Not Quite.

From the first paragraph of a story from...CNN:

The British police protection officer responsible for Prince Harry has flown to Iraq to begin making security arrangements for the royal soldier's deployment to Iraq amid fears for his safety, according to British press reports.

"amid fears for his safety" If only the British were so concerned about the safety of, oh, the other soldiers!

The British police are sending, essentially, a bodyguard to Iraq to protect Prince Harry. While he is deployed in Iraq. Iraq. A bodyguard. In Iraq. I bet all those others soldiers wish they had a bodyguard to protect them from, you know, those insurgents and that civil war thingy going on over there. Maybe if all our soldiers had bodyguards, there wouldn't be so many casualties. It could be like how actors have stunt doubles. It only looks like the actor was thrown 30 feet in the air when the IED detonated.

I can imagine the story:

Five bodyguards were killed today protecting five American soldiers in Iraq when a roadside bomb exploded. No soldiers were harmed.

President Bush has taken credit for the sharp decrease in American casualties since the implementation of the 'Bodyguard Initiative' that he adopted in January, "I'm happy to announce the complete success of the initiative I ordered my Generals to put into place to sharply decrease the amount of casualties our brave men and women of the armed forces have been enduring has been a complete success. Since the the armed services started assigning one bodyguard per soldier, casualties have dropped 100%." The President was later heard to mumble under his breath, "eat that, Democrats.

And the world continues to turn upside down.

Labels: ,


Post a Comment

<< Home