Sunday, December 24, 2006

Never Fly Alaska Airlines

Alaska Airlines has a problem with simple math.

Problem 1: "Ladies and Gentleman, today's flight to San Diego has overbooked. Alaska Airlines would like to offer free round-trip tickets to anywhere Alaska Airlines flys if anyone is willing to give up their tickets and take the next flight to San Diego which is at 6:20 tonight [this announcement was made at 6:00 am, btw]...again, Alaska Airlines will offer free round-trip tickets to anywhere Alaska Airlines flys in exchange for you tickets...Alaska Airlines flys to Cobbo San Lucas...Seattle...Anchorage...Phoenix...?........did mention Cabbo San Lucas?....Seattle....Cabbo.....?"

Problem 2: Ladies and Gentleman, this is the captain from the flight deck, we apologize for the delay, but we miscalculated the amount of baggage on this flight and will have unload some fuel to make up for the difference. This shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes. Thank you for you patience and for picking Alaska Airlines." About ten minutes later: "Ladies and Gentleman, it seems we have to wait for a fuel truck to arrive in order to off load the fuel. Should only be another few minutes." A few minutes later: "Ladies and Gentleman, this is the flight deck, again, it seems there are no empty fuel trucks on the tarmac [yes, we were already boarded when this started] so we need to wait for a fuel truck to unload its fuel before it can unload our fuel, unfortunately this will take about a 1/2 hour. In the meantime, flight attendants will be through the cabin offering water for any passenger that would like some." 1/2 hour later: "Well it looks like a truck has finally arrived and will start to unload the fuel. We need to unload about 3000 gallons which should only take about 20 minutes. We apologize for the delay." 30 minutes later: "Flight crew, prepare doors for take-off." Finally.

1 hour and 1 minute later: "Ladies and Gentleman we would like to thank you for choosing Alaska Airline we hope you enjoyed you flight from San Francisco to San Diego. [I didn't choose Alaska Airlines, it was chosen for me. I booked through American, but my flight was being operated by Alaska? I found this out when I tried to check in at the America desk! Grrrr]. Sitting on the runway: "Ladies and Gentleman, sorry for the delay, but the ground crew are pushing the ramp up to the plane. This should only take a few minutes." Yes, Alaska Airlines sucks so much, San Diego "International" Airport, doesn't even give them a jet way ramp to de-plane its passengers! We actually took a metal ramp to exit the plane. We had to walk on the tarmac to the gate!

Again, never fly Alaska Airlines!

P.S. To the lady sitting next to me during the flight? Just because your farts are silent, doesn't mean we can't smell them.

P.P.S. I don't care how much money it costs me, I now only flying first class.

Merry Chistmas!

One more thing: There are a lot of "Merry CHRIST-mas" signs on churches/billboards here in San Diego. It's so sad when people think christmas is about Jesus and all that, when it is fact all about Rudolph and a jolly old guy in a plush fur-lined red velvet suit. I say stop taking the secular out of christmas! Take christmas back from those who would spoile it with all this death now undead stuff!

*hehehehehehehehehe ;-)


Blogger Dave said...

Merry Christmas, Michael!

8:37 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home