Got A Call Yesterday
Me: "Hello"
Computer Voice: "Please stand by while I connect you to a very important call."
Me: *sigh*
Computer Voice: "Please stand by while I connect you to a very important call."
Me (thinking): "International call, maybe? Do I know anyone internationally?"
Computer Voice: "Please stand by while I connect you to a very important call."
Me: "Gawd, maybe they found a liver for me! Oh, wait; I don't need a liver transplant. Of course after this weekend, I wouldn't be surprise if I did need a new liver."
*click* *click* *click*
Brooklyn Accent crossed with L.A. Homeboy-Guy (BACLAHG): "Heya"
Me: "…hi"
BACLAHG: "I’m calling about the latest and best 'Girls Gone Wild' video!"
Me (smiling): "I’m really not interested in watching girls go wild, I’m Gay."
BACLAHG: "That’s okay, so am I."
Me: "Really?"
BACLAHG: "Oh, yeah. You know we also have 'Guys Gone Wild.'"
Me: "Top or Bottom?"
BACLAHG: "What?"
Me: "Are you a top or a bottom?"
BACLAHG: "Top of what?"
Me: "You’re Gay?"
BACLAHG: "Totally, dude."
Me: "You’re Gay, but you don’t know what a top or a bottom is?"
BACLAHG: "Should I."
Me: "It’s not a question of should, rather it' a question of…knowing yourself, I suppose."
BACLAHG: "Oh. So, what it is it?"
Me (astonished that I' having this conversation but having fun, anyway): "A top is the guy that…," oh, what the hell, "fucks the other guy in the ass. The bottom is the guy that gets fucked in the ass."
BACLAHG: "…."
Me: "…."
BACLAHG: "I just came out, so all this homo, I mean, gay stuff is new to me."
Me: (this guy must really want me to buy those tapes): "That’s okay; it can be strange at first."
BACLAHG: "You know, we have these 'Guys Gone Wild' tapes!"
Me: "Yeah, you mentioned that before. I'm really not interested, thanks for the call, though.'"
*click*
I knew there was a reason why I never signed up on the "do not call list."
Computer Voice: "Please stand by while I connect you to a very important call."
Me: *sigh*
Computer Voice: "Please stand by while I connect you to a very important call."
Me (thinking): "International call, maybe? Do I know anyone internationally?"
Computer Voice: "Please stand by while I connect you to a very important call."
Me: "Gawd, maybe they found a liver for me! Oh, wait; I don't need a liver transplant. Of course after this weekend, I wouldn't be surprise if I did need a new liver."
*click* *click* *click*
Brooklyn Accent crossed with L.A. Homeboy-Guy (BACLAHG): "Heya"
Me: "…hi"
BACLAHG: "I’m calling about the latest and best 'Girls Gone Wild' video!"
Me (smiling): "I’m really not interested in watching girls go wild, I’m Gay."
BACLAHG: "That’s okay, so am I."
Me: "Really?"
BACLAHG: "Oh, yeah. You know we also have 'Guys Gone Wild.'"
Me: "Top or Bottom?"
BACLAHG: "What?"
Me: "Are you a top or a bottom?"
BACLAHG: "Top of what?"
Me: "You’re Gay?"
BACLAHG: "Totally, dude."
Me: "You’re Gay, but you don’t know what a top or a bottom is?"
BACLAHG: "Should I."
Me: "It’s not a question of should, rather it' a question of…knowing yourself, I suppose."
BACLAHG: "Oh. So, what it is it?"
Me (astonished that I' having this conversation but having fun, anyway): "A top is the guy that…," oh, what the hell, "fucks the other guy in the ass. The bottom is the guy that gets fucked in the ass."
BACLAHG: "…."
Me: "…."
BACLAHG: "I just came out, so all this homo, I mean, gay stuff is new to me."
Me: (this guy must really want me to buy those tapes): "That’s okay; it can be strange at first."
BACLAHG: "You know, we have these 'Guys Gone Wild' tapes!"
Me: "Yeah, you mentioned that before. I'm really not interested, thanks for the call, though.'"
*click*
I knew there was a reason why I never signed up on the "do not call list."
posted by Michael at 9:42 AM
4 Comments:
Hilarious!!
..i'm not even gay but i know what top or bottom is s'posed to be. :P
"It means exactly what you think it does." - Christopher Rice
I was waiting for the moment where the guy would become so flustered that his Indian accent would show ;-) ("why didn't they cover THAT in my American culture class???")
So that's why your phone was busy yesterday.
That is amazing. People will say anything to make another sale. Glad that you didn't order that tape. Nothing but a bunch of fully dressed frat boys overturning cars and setting them on fire. Come on, if you're gonna get wild, at least take off your shirts!
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