Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Garrison Keillor : "Do As I Say, Not As I've Done.."

Garrison Keillor of Prairie Home Companion fame has adopted the Republican mantra, "Do As I Say, Not As I've Done" by writing an piece in Salon about his idyllic upbringing in a traditional mixed-gender marriage (the only kind that should be, he says. Forgetting to mention he is thrice married, his latest wife is a product of cheating on his second wife. He conveniently forgets to mention that). Here's some of what Garrison "adulterer" Keillor has to say about the importance of monogamous heterosexual marriage:

"I grew up the child of a mixed-gender marriage that lasted until death parted them…. Back in the day, that was the standard arrangement. Everyone had a yard, a garage, a female mom, a male dad, and a refrigerator with leftover boiled potatoes in plastic dishes with snap-on lids….
Under the old monogamous system, we didn’t have the problem of apportioning Thanksgiving and Christmas among your mother and stepdad, your dad and his third wife, your mother-in-law and her boyfriend Hal, and your father-in-law and his boyfriend Chuck. Today, serial monogamy has stretched the extended family to the breaking point. A child can now grow up with eight or nine or 10 grandparents—Gampa, Gammy, Goopa, Gumby, Papa, Poopsy, Goofy, Gaga and Chuck—and need a program to keep track of the actors."

Dan Savage, as usual, pulls no punches writing about Keillor.

"Keillor has been married THREE TIMES. He has children from two of his marriages, children who presumably need a program to keep track of their step-siblings, half-siblings, and sprawling extended families, children that have to be apportioned out on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Okay, fine, whatever. Keillor can recognize marriage, life-long commitment, and less complicated family structures as the ideal, even if he himself has failed—failed spectacularly—to live up to that ideal. It might have been nice, however, if the withered old hypocrite has admitted to Salon readers that he has failed to live up to the ideals he’s espousing. How about a little full disclosure, Garrison, you old adulterer you?"

How can Keillor right this crap? Does he not understand what hypocrisy means? sheesh.

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